Letter to the Ellen Degeneres Show

25 Mar

Just so you know that my children aren’t the only ones who exaggerate in this family, here is a letter that my husband sent to Ellen Degeneres.  We are huge fans of The Ellen Show, she makes us laugh even when life it full of stress.  We are huge fans and would love to get to meet her some day.

With no further ado, here is his letter to Ellen:

Please save me!  My wife and children are obsessed with being on your show!  You’ve probably noticed any number of emails, pictures, snail mail, presents, and videos sent to you by one member of the Always family or another over the last couple of years.  My sanity is seriously starting to slip….
 
We’re producing our own puppet-based web series called Bean’s Monkey Business, and there’s nothing they want more in the world than to bring Bean to meet you.  It’s all they talk about!  Every day it’s Ellen this and Ellen that.  My wife has started waking up in the middle of the night saying your name.  My daughter asked if she could change her name to Ellen.  My son wants your name tattooed on his leg.  They’ve even gotten my dog involved with their obsession.  They carved “Ellen” into her fur and now they’re trying to teach her to howl your name.
 
Please, in the name of all that is just and good, please help my family before this becomes any worse!
 
Sincerely,
 
Patrick Always
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2 Responses to “Letter to the Ellen Degeneres Show”

  1. Olivia May 16, 2012 at 8:22 pm #

    This is so amusing! I’ve never heard of a family so dedicated to Ellen DeGeneres!

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